How could I have known that your gift would be my pain? How could I have seen loss as the path to healing? How could my ability to break be my wholeness? How is it you loved me so much that you would bestow such great gifts upon me? Dearest, you led me down what appeared to be shadowed paths. I could not see. What jumped out at me left me scared and afraid. What dug into me created wounds and holes upon my heart. What pierced through the dark caused me to cower inside myself. I wanted to run and hide… I did again and again…and again. In each age and stage, there was a reason to find another place to hide, a new crevice to bury another piece of me, a new story to tell myself about who I was. But, how could I know it was all false?
Despite my choices, despite my outward intentions and affirmations, you kept sending the gifts… They piled on and they piled high. They became heavier and denser. They became more frequent. There were so many that they built walls around me… the only way out was through them. Finally, that one last gift arrived and the wall was too high. Either they were going to cave in on top of me or I must break through them. Either way… it was still Love being poured upon me. How could I have known? How could I have known the whole picture? I could not see beyond what was around me, surrounding me… Then I broke… maybe I broke through… they were one in the same. I turned and looked back at the block I had just moved beyond. On the outer side, I saw a covering of mirrors, beautiful reflections of who I had been, who I was, and who I was intended to be.
It was in that moment that I realized true love. I let myself see magnificence. It is because within the mirror, there was no longer just the brokenness, the pain, the darkness staring back… I could not only see the wounds, insecurities, and inhibitions, but I could see Light within the eyes and hovering just off the edge of the skin.
Within the gifts of pain you have given have been secret chambers that you hid my courage, my power, my compassion, my love… My heart. Dear Soul, thank you for giving me back to me… For loving me enough to not withhold anything necessary for my growth, evolution and transformation. Thank you for always cherishing me enough and gifting me beyond my wildest dreams. I embrace my beautiful gifts with deep gratitude, acceptance and love. And I realize now, I have so many, All of my gifts are too great for me to hold any longer; now I must share them …both the dark ones and the Light ones. In that I honor you and your love for me.
Can I tell this secret? May I let it out to one and all that they know this is their story too? Can I reveal to them their bounty… that gifts have been coming forth from the moment of their conception. Shall I share that their pain is their ultimate gift… that your love has been so golden and pure. It is the story of each one… it is the journey of the Soul.
In Love, Of Love, With Love… I Am