The greatest fear for most is fear of the unknown. Our knowledge of death and the dying process certainly triggers that fear for many. Although it has been depicted as such, death is anything but morbid. We are told it means things have ended, decayed, and been lost… gone forever. Death is identified with grief, tears and sadness. This fear of the unknown relates not only to physical death but the multitude of life experiences that court change. The unknown can be a paralyzing factor that keeps individuals stuck in circumstances that are disempowering, victimizing, painful and uncomfortable. We get so comfortable being uncomfortable that it appears easier than embarking on the unknown. Fear and negativity would have us believe the unknown holds death…it is the story we tell ourselves…the stuff we make up…the illusion within the illusion…or is it?
Perhaps the death we fear and run from is not really the end but actually the beginning. Can something dying be its gift for new life? Is it possible we are meant to experience dying on a continual basis for the purposes of ultimate creation and connection to others and ‘who we really are’? Could dying and birthing be one in the same? Is death actually a shedding of layers throughout life, so we continue living the immortality of the spirit – dispensing of thoughts, beliefs, habits, patterns, dis-eases, discomfort, relationships, environments, and energy that no longer serves the individual.
Many walking are already ‘dead’ – living unconscious lives without feeling -disconnected from themselves, others and their passion – moving day to day by habit rather than by choice – settling for what is their circumstance instead of seeing it as the platform from which to create. For so many today, their ‘end’ is already here…physical death would matter not.
In the Five Stages of Dying by Dr Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, the process individuals experience when physical life comes toward it’s end is depicted.
Denial
The first stage is one of complete denial that death is immanent. The denial is so intense that the patient will often avoid speaking to anyone, probably because they don’t want to listen to anyone reminding them, either directly or indirectly, that their remaining time is limited.
Anger
The second stage is one of anger, and it’s categorized by rhetoric like: ‘Why me? Why not someone else?’
Bargaining
The third stage a patient will experience is one of bargaining. They will bargain with their doctor for a reprieve as if the doctor was ultimately able to decide whether they die or live. Dr Kubler- Ross noted that very often patients would say things like, ‘If I do as I’m told you will make me better won’t you?’
Depression
Next comes a stage of depression. Denial, anger and all meaningless negotiations having failed, patients are often overcome with a feeling of total despondency.
Acceptance
Finally, usually on the actual verge of death, a state of calm acceptance is reached and it’s not uncommon for patients to report hearing voices and seeing visions of dead relatives or friends. Such comforting visions are an integral part of their acceptance of death because it gives patients what they certainly believe to be a glimpse of what has been, up to this time, the great unknown.
These stages are not at all different than simply living, growing and evolving through the situations that show up. They are the template of the soul journey wherein experiences have unfolded for the sake of re-membering, re-discovering and re-creating one’s truth. If one reflects upon ‘crisis’ or ”change’ that has occurred, these stages will be evident. What also is apparent is an opportunity to open to a new creation or a new discovery of self. The Five Stages of Dying could also be called the five stages of ‘LIVING’.
Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance are the steps we go through every time an experience or creation has to change. Social interactions are a prime example of how we move through these stages into change. Relationships are the ultimate breeding ground for soul discovery…allowing each person the continuos cycle of birth, death and rebirth.
The experiences we encounter are for no one other than ourselves. It does not matter what others think, feel, or gossip about. Gossip is a means to be distracted from one’s own dysfunction. Experiences are not right or wrong nor are they to be sources for guilt, shame or judgment regardless of what they are. Each situation holds a Divine blessing.
In the end, every human being has two things in common… First, we all experience pain.
Second, our greatest desire is to know the experience of Love … That would mean living in, from and unified with our ultimate Source … .
It is alright to change the mind. Be open to evolving. Old constructs, past restraints, and outdated paradigms must fall away for new growth to occur. It is what happens in life and what is occurring in our world’s systems, from banking to healthcare to government. It is imperative that we continue to re-define, fine tune and clarify who we each are, what we are about and how that affects the rest of the planet. It is paramount that we change… thought to thought, step by step, layer within layer… continually becoming the example of courage, voice, vision, mission and passion that others need to see…most importantly, that we need to witness.
To remain fully alive, we need only remember we are soft clay to be molded and sculpted into many beautiful forms. We must wake up to the possibility that all we have believed may no longer be true…that there is so much more than we allow ourselves to believe? We are the clay… and the hands that mold the clay. All we have to do is BELIEVE…Beyond the Illusion. (Excerpted from the Sept/Oct Issue of 11:11 Magazine – http://1111mag.com/ for subscriptions