What is so hard about saying Y.E.S.?



     What is so hard about saying ‘Yes’? What is particularly challenging about saying ‘Yes’ to ourselves? to our Divine right? Is it just a habit? Is it that we are so comfortable being uncomfortable that a ‘YES’ would take us out of our ‘discomfort’ zone. Would ‘Yes’ mean being more powerful? Would it require us to show up? Perhaps it would demand living more authentically. Would ‘Yes’ dictate we would have to be seen and heard. Would ‘Yes’ state there might be some habits, behaviors, thoughts and maybe even things or people we must give up? Would ‘Yes’ create a space of vulnerability in which we would finally discover the prison that ‘No’ had been all along?      It must have begun when we were children. It was when we first heard that word ‘No’.  It was easily understood and would stop a person in their tracks. As a toddler, even when our insides said ‘Yes’, the ‘No’ would come a little stronger, perhaps with firmer action as well. ‘No’, for many children became such a known word, that in our two’s and three’s we thought we would outsmart the big people and use it back at them. But sometimes our ‘No’ would not work in the same way as it had for our role models. Then ‘No’ expanded to “You can’t”, “Stop”, and “Don’t do”. When was it you began to question yourself and what you could or could not do?…were willing to BELIEVE or not BELIEVE about yourself and what you considered true. At what point did the brain download the ‘should’ program, where the default came through a series of intellectual clicks, bells, and whistles known as justification, guilt, and practicality? N.O.  –  NEVER OBEDIENT – NEGATIVE OUTCOME – NARROW ONESELFNo began to become the acronym for all the reasons life was not supposed to be easy, happy or fulfilled. After all, friends, peers, and parents were the guideposts that our path was created by. Anything unique to them, their beliefs of their perceptual filters would help us stay the course of early childhood and generational programming. Finally this programming becomes the individual language consciously and unconsciously spoken to ourselves.        So often, the very ‘No’ we are experiencing is the blockage of standing in our own way. Through justifications, self-imposed obligations, feelings of guilt, and/or simply feelings of unworthiness, the life experience becomes lived from within a box; a box whose size has been self-determined.  Over time, we even allow this box to shrink to the point we become confined, locked or stuck. Delving deeply enough into the heart mind, one may find that their ‘No’ is used to shut out dreams, desires, hopes, options, comfort, and possibilities. It may be what is used to shut out ‘success’. It is what helps us buy into the invalid thoughts of incapability, lack of confidence, powerlessness, and defeated self-image.     But why would someone consciously say ‘No’ to all of the things they truly want? What would saying ‘Yes’ mean?  Do we even know? Is that what scares us not knowing; being out of control, going against the tribe; moving beyond who we believe ourselves to be?      So often the thing people fear most is not failure, but success. Success means different things to different people, but nonetheless it is that grand landscape we all wish to live in front of. Success has no wrong way to exist and really has nothing to do with that which is material. Even those that believe success is about the material, will eventually discover it boils down to an emotional component and a wanton desire to experience oneself and the inherent creativity that lies within. So why be so afraid of it; why not say ‘Yes’?      Succumbing to success would mean it was there all along….that it is time to show up in life every single day it would require living powerfully each moment. What we may tell ourselves, as to why it is undeserved might be that we had held back for so long, wasted so much time, spent so many years investing in what we have always done, or who are we to outdo others around us and make them feel less than. For some, success might mean experiencing ‘failure’ if things do not work out as desired and then what would we have? It might mean people think we have lost our minds.    I spent thirty years in the fashion industry, loving every moment of it. I could have continued for the rest of my life in that arena. However, there came a point where I felt I had done all that I could and still feel as if ‘I’ was growing and experiencing myself in new ways. I knew I helped a lot of people in a lot of different ways but there was no longer a passion to the work; a reason to spring out of bed in the morning with excitement at the new day. This was a signal that change was coming. I had to ask myself the question what do I want to say ‘Yes’ to? How do I want to experience myself in this new life I am about to create.      Before me lay the opportunity to really look at what meant something to me and to spend time journaling one simple statement I desire to experience myself as ____________________________.In the beginning, the statement was answered in an abstract form: joyful, energized, happy. Then it narrowed in intent: creative, playful, inspired, in service. Finally more clarity came: a writer, a teacher, a community. There was one element I always made certain of when I sat down to do this exercise. I only put down what really gave me goose bumps, made my heart flutter, and would bring me bliss. I removed all barriers and asked myself, ‘If money, time, and outcome were of no consequence, what would I be doing with my time?’ Once this step was complete, next came the hard part facing up to what I really wanted and determining if I would allow myself to say ‘Yes’ to it. Saying ‘Yes’ would mean doing something I had never done before, stepping out of my comfort zone, and possibly having the world think I had lost my mind. Well, I had never done a magazine before, it was a completely new experience, and I did not even know quite where to begin other than to get educated and allow myself to be creative with it. I knew it had to be an extension of who I AM. I knew it had to reflect my DNA and that the breath I gave to it would determine the life it would have. ‘This magazine had to be created in my own image’In order to step out of my comfort zone, I had to be my own cheerleader, counselor, and friend. I had to allow myself to fee
l the fear, the intimidation, and the lack of confidence at times. And, I had to be the one to give me the pep talks, the cheerleading rallies, the kudos with every small completion, and the moment of self-honoring with every large hurdle crossed. This was not only a lesson in what could be accomplished, this was a lesson of how loving, compassionate, caring, and supportive I could be of myself. It was making certain that the ‘No’ stayed out of my dialogue as a constant echoing ‘YES,YES,YES’ filled the space between my ears.
The next hurdle had to do with the thoughts, words, and feedback of the tribe around me. So often, it is difficult for individuals and friends to be supportive of  something because they care, fear for you, cannot fathom themselves taking such a leap, or do not like change. So you can imagine what some of the feedback might have been when I left such a long term career to do something completely new. This occurs because the universe really wants you to get clear on your ‘Yes’. The Universe desires to support you in really being committed to yourself or taking the lesson of how easily you give up on what you really want.The final, most important piece is SURRENDER. Surrender to the process. Surrender to not knowing. Surrender to preparation. Surrender to the feelings. Surrender the intellect. And, surrender CONTROL. Life can follow a very simple recipe. With the right ingredients, you will allow yourself to move into the synchronistic flow of magic that living is supposed to be. The experience of putting 11:11 together has been that magical flow of synchronicity. Doors have opened, new opportunities have arrives and it continues. Why? To show me that the more I desire is possible if I just allow it. WHY? To show you that anything is possible you don’t have to be anything because you are always in the process of becoming. Rev. Michael Beckwith once said, “God does not call the qualified, he qualifies the called.” We are not already supposed to know how we are just supposed to show up. So regardless of what your God calling is…it stems from the deepest place in your heart and you will become qualified when you say ‘YES’.                                                                                                It is the perfect time to say YES.  It is time to wake up and live the life you love. No more resolutions to DO something it is time to BE something it is time to really BE YOU!  All you have to do is                                                                                                          BELIEVE … Beyond the Illusion! (excerpted from 11:11 Magazine – www.1111mag.com  Warmest regards,                                                                                                          Simran Singh